Hi I'm Leonie, Collector of feathers, pebbles and words, with ink-stained hands, an overactive mind, and a sunshine-filled heart.


Tests for autism and Aspergers - self diagnosing (again)

Part of this whole 'settling into an alternate identity' thing is self-acceptance. Actually, who am I kidding, almost all of it is about self-acceptance. Self-permission. Allowing myself to step into this new Aspie suit. Wearing it, not letting it wear me. Feeling safe, confident and above all, certain.

I found a draft blog post where I had stored a bunch of online tests I took many months ago, at the start of this discovery process and thought I'd share them for anyone else who's on the same magical mystery self-discovery tour.

First I took The Aspie Quiz.

"Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 158 of 200.
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 71 of 200.
You are very likely neurodiverse."

Oh. Um... ok. 

I might be autistic... now what?

Take more online tests of course. Because I didn't believe I'd answered all the questions correctly (of course there is no right answer). What if I lied: but how could I?

I had to prove it (to who?). I wanted to collect a body of proof. If this was true, I needed a giant neon flashing arrow above my head saying DEFINITELY AUTISTIC. I couldn't bear the thought of being unsure. Of passing myself off as something I wasn't 100% sure of. Of perhaps latching on to something that felt right but had no basis in fact.

So I found more online tests.

I still ticked all the boxes

I got neurodiverse confirmation in the RAADS-R and Autism Quotient. I was neurotypical in the Friendship Quotient and Two Factor Imagination Scale, but I've spent an awful lot of time trying to work on those deficits, so maybe 33 years of trying to pass has actually worked.

I summoned up the guts to see a psychologist, and she told me I tick all the boxes too.

Yet it's been over six months since I got on this crazy ride, and I still haven't told anyone other than my husband and one close friend. I'm still not sure.

Online autism tests:

The Aspie Quiz

The Autism Spectrum Quotient (AQ)

The RAADS-R aka The Ritvo Autism Asperger Diagnostic Scale - Revised

The Friendship Quotient

The Two-Factor Imagination Scale (TFIS)

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